Most parents get stuck on this dilemma: How do I make them do what I say, and not what I did when I was their age? Parents had their youth. They had their teenage sex and their pot smoking and all the trouble. Then they grow up, have kids, and suddenly get serious about morals and values.

But here’s the problem, you can tell your kids what you think they should do, but ultimately what you did is going to show through. You cannot escape the decisions of your own past and how they shaped your personality. It is that personality —and every decision attached to it — that’s going to rub off on your kids whether you like it or not.

The mom who sleeps around in her youth, then as an adult sticks her kids in church and espouses the virtues of waiting till marriage will most likely end up with one of those church kids who has sex in the church bathroom in between youth group sessions (i.e., a holier-than-thou hypocrite that every rational kid hates).

Plus, if you’re trying to tell your child not to do something, they can instantly destroy the credibility of your point with this question: What did you do when you were my age?

What kind of answers will you have when your kids start asking those questions? What will rub off on your kids as far as relationships and sex goes?

If you wait until marriage to have sex, and you focus on having an obviously great relationship with your husband/wife, you will have a lot of solid ground to stand on when your kids start approaching *that* age. You want to be able to say “I saved everything for your father. That’s partially why we still have such a great relationship, and why all of your friends’ parents are divorced.”

But again, it won’t matter much what you say. It’s what you did that will rub off. And in your case that will work in your favor.