If someone’s relationship with God is even remotely important to them, premarital sex is something that could shatter his or her faith life. Premarital sex is a serious, mortal sin for all Christian faiths. When we sin, we are stepping away from God and His plan for our lives. It’s such a grave sin because it causes so much damage to our hearts, minds, and souls. God created sex to be a fulfilling, life-long gift of self to the other – and it is only in marriage that sex can be what it should be.
Chastity is a sign of love and respect. It shows love for God by following His commandment. It shows love and respect for a person’s future spouse by waiting to share the special bond of sex with only them. Making the commitment to stay chaste before marriage proves that someone can be trusted to be faithful after marriage. Finally, chastity is a sign of love and respect for yourself.
When a woman has a casual sexual relationship, later she will often regret it. By holding fast to her virginity, a girl will, in the long run, win the respect of many males.
If someone truly loves you, they will want the best for you. They will not want you to suffer fear of disease and unwanted pregnancy. They will want to experience love with you only in the very best place of all – marriage.
The more promiscuous you are before marriage, the more likely you are to commit adultery after marriage. (The sexually self-indulgent have had no practice in self-restraint.) Studies also show that those who have premarital sex are most likely not to get married and if they do get married; they are more likely to divorce than those who have not had premarital sex.
I know abstinence seems impossible, but it’s not. And when you wait, you open yourself up to the best sex life possible, because those who tend to enjoy sex the most tend to be those who waited for marriage. And there’s reasons for that: you have less sexual baggage; you end up being better friends; you feel closer to God; and you learn to appreciate all aspects of sex, and not just the physical pleasure.
There is a lot of talk going on around you about sex. Sex is in just about every magazine, newspaper, television show, and movie. It is the point of a lot of music. Our world has gotten lax about sex, making it seem like premarital sex is okay because it feels good, but the Bible does not agree. God calls us all to control our passions and wait for marriage.
Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 – “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable.”
1 Corinthians 7:2-3 – “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.”
Does sex make you feel better about yourself? I have no idea. What I do know is that many people do look for sex for the self-esteem boost it can provide. Knowing what you want in life (such as a strong relationship) leads to higher self-awareness and in turn a higher self-esteem. If you know yourself then it’s highly unlikely that you’ll feel the need to seek out sexual relationships for a pick me up. Having control over your image is a powerful thing indeed. It gives you the razor sharp focus you need to pursue other goals like education, a career, and meaningful relationships.
This probably wasn’t what you were thinking: that not having sex gives you freedom. But it really does.
The day-to day, month-to-month fear of pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease (STD) can get old real fast. Perhaps you have friends who are anxious all the time because they know what they’ve been doing. Their nervousness is justified.
Because even the “best” contraceptives can fail. Birth control pills or injections don’t always work. And they offer no protection against STDs, which are at epidemic levels today. Some STDs are very dangerous and can change a person’s health permanently. Some can impair a person’s ability to have children later.
And condoms are a joke. They break, they’re uncomfortable, and they offer no protection against some of the most harmful STDs.
— Pastor Jentezen Franklin (via thevirginsdiary)
Sex cements you together, when perhaps you should stay apart. Sex gives you a false sense of intimacy. When we have sex, we release the “bonding hormone” oxytocin, which makes us feel close to the person we’re with. We start to experience those fluttery feelings, and the wistful longing for that person. But it doesn’t mean it’s based on anything real.
One more thing on this point: the more people that you are “cemented” together with before you’re married, the harder it will be for sex to cement you together later. Sex can cement you together; but if you have sex and then break up and have sex and then break up, you start teaching your heart not to bond. And that’s setting yourself up for problems in your marriage, because sex becomes something distinct from love. You may still love your husband, but you don’t do it through sex, because sex has become only the physical. That’s sad.
Sex is supposed to be about connecting you together on all levels. When you have sex without the commitment, you take the bonding part out of the equation. And it’s very hard to get it back.
If you’re not married yet, my question would be this: why set yourself up for hurdles? Keep yourself pure; you won’t regret it. There’s a reason God did what He did, and it wasn’t to punish you or rob you of fun. It was to protect you.
It may be common for couples to have sex before marriage, but a new study shows that couples who wait until marriage are happier with the quality of sex than couples who have intercourse before their vows.
What’s more, couples who delay sex until their wedding night have more stable and happier marriages than couples who have premarital sex, according to the study, which appears in the Journal of Family Psychology.
The study involved 2,035 married participants in an online assessment of marriage called “RELATE.” According to the study, people who waited until marriage:
- rated sexual quality 15% higher than people who had premarital sex
- rated relationship stability as 22% higher
- rated satisfaction with their relationships 20% higher
I have heard the expression before, “We are in love, so its just an expression of our love to each other!” I respond that I am glad the two are in love, however, is this God’s definition of love, or man’s definition? God’s definition of love is found in 1st Corinthians 13:4-8, which says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Abstinence is very important for relationships. If two people wait until they are ready then it makes for a happier and more healthy relationship. There is more trust, less emotional baggage, and more respect. If someone respects themselves and their morals they will get more respect back.